Eating safety net

After breaking up with Weight Watchers, counting Points bothers me. I have been calorie counting in one form or another for years. I'm sick of looking at food and seeing numbers. I need a mental break.

As a child, I ate when I was hungry and stopped when I was full. I was very in tune with my body's needs and wants. When I didn't want to eat something, there was no making me consume it (there were many untouched broccoli florets in my childhood).

Somewhere along the way I lost the connection to my body. I started eating what the latest fad told me to eat – low carb, fat free, no sugar added. I consumed a specific number of Points or calories regardless of my hunger. Some days I ate when I wasn't hungry just to meet my caloric goal. Other times I went hungry because I was out of Points for the day.

When I started my elimination diet, the nutritionist wanted me to give up counting and start listening to my body. Over the two months, I was more aware of my body, but I still diligently counted WW Points. My brain couldn’t process the concept of eating without restrictions.

I may be sick of Points and counting, but I'm not sure I'm ready for full blown intuitive eating. Ultimately I'll get there, but I need a stepping stone. Truth be told, I actually need a safety net. I don't trust myself to honestly evaluate my eats if I can't see them in writing. No numbers or measurements - just the time of day, my hunger level, and what I eat in general terms.

It’s scary to give up counting after so long. I’m afraid that without the self-imposed limitations my eating will get out of control. It’s ridiculous that I don’t trust myself to know when I’m full. It’s so simple in writing. Ask myself if I’m hungry. If the answer is no, put down the tasty treat. No problem in theory. Now let’s see how it goes in execution.

SOTS wonders… does intuitive eating scare or exhilarate you?
Bella

Breaking up with Weight Watchers

At first, I was so in love. Weight Watchers seemed like a perfect fit. Once the honeymoon period was over, it turned into a bad relationship. WW and I simply weren't seeing eye-to-eye. I tried to make it work, but we had different goals. It was hard to admit, but the relationship was over and it was time to say goodbye.

I joined WW to lose those last few really stubborn pounds. At first, all was going well and I figured I'd be rocking Lifetime in a few short months. Then I stalled. Then I gained. Then I lost. Then I stalled. Then I gained. Then I lost. Then I stalled. You get the picture.

I finally realized that my body was telling me it was done. I was at my happy, healthy, natural body weight. Yippee! I decided to call Goal.

Unfortunately WW wouldn't let me because I hadn't lost enough weight since joining. I pondered that. First, I came up with some crazy ways I could lose the weight and officially call goal. Luckily I was reminded that this is about health not a number on the scale (Thanks, Jess!). I decided not to let an international company dictate my body. So, WW and I broke up.

It's been about a month and, I have to tell you, I feel great. This has been a three-year, 46-pound weight loss journey. There have been ups and downs; six-month plateaus; entire Deep 'n' Delicious cakes consumed; and many nutrition books read. The result? I haven't had such a healthy relationship with my body in years.

SOTS wonders... if you've lost weight, how did you know when you were done? Was it a number on the scale, how your jeans fit, or simply a feeling?

Food for thought: week one update

It’s been a week since I eliminated soy, gluten, dairy, sugar, and heavily processed food from my diet. This is not a permanent change, but will last for two more weeks to see if I have any food intolerances. Some random thoughts from my first week:

-I’m more aware of my physical hunger.
-I don’t feel guilty about the food I eat.
-I eat when I’m hungry; not when I’m emotional.
-I love roasted chick peas.
-I eat to “satisfied” instead of “full.”
- I felt very lethargic on day four, but now I’m bursting with energy.
-I haven’t found good gluten-free bread.
- I’m compelled to finish everything on my plate, even when I’m satisfied.
-I don’t spend the whole day thinking about when/what I’m going to eat next.
-I’m less concerned with WW Point values.
-I haven’t had any cravings yet.
-I may be eating too many nuts and dried fruit.

SOTS wonders… do you know any good gluten-free bread?
Bella

While I'm at it

While I’m divulging things, I have another confession. I joined Weight Watchers in January. I don’t know why I consider this a confession. Perhaps, it’s because I didn’t intend for this blog to be about my body. Having said that, I don’t want to ignore this aspect of my life or pretend it’s not something I’m working on, especially since one of my 2010 goals is maintaining a healthy body weight.

As a result of the concussion, I am acutely aware that my body is fragile and I need to take good care of it, which prompted me to join WW. This is the ideal time to get a handle on my body since I’m on sick leave and have doctor recommended eating guidelines. No more dieting. I’m looking for a lifestyle change. I want to put the best fuel into my body without feeling like I’m depriving myself.

Although I’m a new WW member, I’m actually at the end of my weight loss journey. I’ve treated my body very badly in the past. University was the first time I felt pressure to look a certain way and I responded by eating next to nothing – usually no more than a bowl of rice a day. I starved myself down to 110 pounds during first year. In the following years, I replaced starvation with overindulgence. My eating habits, combined with hypothyroidism, lead to 186 pounds.

Three years ago, a picture of me was posted on Facebook and I didn’t even recognize the girl in the photo. It shocked me into action. I began working out and made changes to my diet. I lost 24 pounds and felt like myself again. I hovered around that weight for a year before deciding that I could go a step further. I currently weigh 145 pounds and I’m happy with my body.

You may be wondering why I would join WW when I’m already at a healthy body weight. Well, I seem to know how to gain weight and how to lose it, but not how to maintain. I’m hoping WW will keep me on track and provide support during the times I’d like eat an entire vanilla cake.

SOTS wonders… do you tell people when you’re on a diet or making a lifestyle change? Are you afraid of being judged?
Bella