Food for thought: week two update

Okay, I’m done week two and well into week three of my elimination diet. I’ve said so long farewell (at least for now) to soy, gluten, dairy, sugar, and heavily processed food.

During the first week, I went through a detox phase where I was lethargic and every muscle in my body ached. Week two was a different story. I’ve had more energy and don’t suffer from the food highs and lows I used to.

I’m yet to have a serious craving for any of the eliminated foods. I’m actually shocked I haven’t had an insane sugar craving given that my sweet tooth is out of control. Dried fruit has been my go to when I need a little something sweet.

I continue to be more aware of my physical hunger. Also, I can feel how hunger affects my body. I can’t wait until my stomach is growling: by then I’m a cranky individual. I need to eat when I first feel the hunger rumbles.

My favourite thing about the elimination diet? No food guilt! I don’t think I realized how much time I wasted worrying about what I was going to eat, when I was going to eat it, and what it was doing to my body. I’ve been feeling guilty about food for years. And I’m not just talking about guilt when I’m half way through a Deep ‘n’ Delicious cake. I’d also feel guilty about eating too much, not eating enough, and what I was choosing to eating. I managed to feel guilty for everything about food. Talk about a waste of time. But I’m letting go of my food guilt. I eat good food until I’m satisfied… and I don’t feel bad about it. It’s liberating!

SOTS wonders… do you have food guilt?
Bella

Food for thought: week one update

It’s been a week since I eliminated soy, gluten, dairy, sugar, and heavily processed food from my diet. This is not a permanent change, but will last for two more weeks to see if I have any food intolerances. Some random thoughts from my first week:

-I’m more aware of my physical hunger.
-I don’t feel guilty about the food I eat.
-I eat when I’m hungry; not when I’m emotional.
-I love roasted chick peas.
-I eat to “satisfied” instead of “full.”
- I felt very lethargic on day four, but now I’m bursting with energy.
-I haven’t found good gluten-free bread.
- I’m compelled to finish everything on my plate, even when I’m satisfied.
-I don’t spend the whole day thinking about when/what I’m going to eat next.
-I’m less concerned with WW Point values.
-I haven’t had any cravings yet.
-I may be eating too many nuts and dried fruit.

SOTS wonders… do you know any good gluten-free bread?
Bella

Missing Mantra

When I was trying to lose weight I had a mantra: be as strong physically as you are mentally. I kept this little saying on a cue card in my wallet. If I considered ordering a dessert or skipping a workout, I’d whip out the card, read the mantra, and remember my goal.

This was all fine and dandy until my accident. I’m not so mentally strong any more. Plus, the mantra focuses on getting fit and I need to focus on getting healthy (similar, but different goals).

My doctors suggested I write a mantra about “active healing.” They’ve correctly determined that I consider healing passive and inactive. Essentially I feel lazy. Whenever I feel guilty about the hours spent in front of the television, I’m supposed to heal actively by visualizing the repairs my brain is making to itself. They charged me with the task of writing a new mantra about putting my physical and mental health first.

Hmmm, this is the type of task I love and yet… no mantra. No ideas. No drafts. No works in progress. Just an empty word document.

My fitness mantra came naturally. It just kept popping into my head. This new mantra feels forced. The creative juices haven’t been flowing and I wonder if it’s because I’m trying too hard.

SOTS wonders… do you have a mantra? Did you sit down and write it or did it come naturally to you?
Bella

Putting the "occasion" back in occasional

I have a serious sweet tooth. At this moment, there is ice cream, chocolate, cookies, and Mini Eggs (which are so tempting that they are their own category) lurking in my cupboards. Generally this isn’t a problem for me. I have willpower and can resist temptation. But lately I’ve been an emotional eating machine. I shovel junk food into my mouth so fast that I don’t even know what I’m eating. I certain don’t enjoy or even taste the sweet treats crossing my lips. What’s the point of Mini Eggs if you don’t taste them?

It doesn’t happen every day, but I’ve certainly noticed that lately the “occasion” has left my occasional treats. Instead of savouring a delicious “worth-it” treat at a special event, I’m consuming mass quantities of quasi-yummy treats on my couch, alone, when no one will see.

Obviously this type of eating has nothing to do with physical hunger. Clearly I’m using food as medication. Instead of dealing with what’s bothering me, I try to placate myself with sugar. The result? I feel guilty for overeating and I still haven’t dealt with the real problem.

The next time I’m on the verge of a binge, I’ll ask myself “am I physically hungry?” If the answer is no, I’ll follow up with “then why am I reaching for the mint chocolate chip ice cream?” The first question will be an easy answer. The second will hopefully force me to delve into what’s causing these out of character cravings.

SOTS wonders… how do you handle emotional eating?
Bella

Am I addicted to guilt?

Caitlin’s post yesterday about guilt really got my brain wheels turning. Am I addicted to guilt? How much of the day do I spent feeling guilty about things?

Part of my concussion recovery is tracking how I feel physically and emotionally. I have a symptoms journal where I note when I have a headache or dizzy spell and how bad it is on a scale of 1-10. After guilt came up a couple of times during my last doctor appointment, I also record when and why I feel guilty. Egad! Talk about opening a can of worms.

I have food related guilt: I ate too much; I didn’t eat enough; I could’ve made better choices. I have activity guilt: I didn’t do enough today; I did too much today. I have concussion guilt: I should be healing faster; I’m not a contributing member of society; I’m inconveniencing people. And a million other small things that add up to a whole lotta time wasted on feeling bad.

Even the guilt journal makes me feel guilty because I don’t write everything down. You know things are out of hand when you feel guilty about your guilt journal. Fairly counterproductive, no?

I’ve always been a perfectionist who aims to exceed expectation. This begs the question: is guilt what drives me? I don’t think so, and yet there’s no denying that I spent a large portion of my day worrying that I could’ve done any number of things better.

I believe self-analysis is healthy; by examining our actions and choices we are better equipped for the future. That said, often times my self-reflection focuses on the negative instead of the positive, which leads to – you guessed it – guilt. It turns out I’m the biggest bully in my life! I need to stop beating myself up.

To get a handle on guilt, I’m going to try Caitlin’s four steps. It’s time to focus more energy on the positive!

SOTS wonders… what role does guilt play in your life?
Bella